Sunday, May 29
Tuesday, May 24
Ramble
I've always wondered how people can just write forever about a subject. This will be a ramble of sorts, so sorry if it is hard to follow along.
I am current lying laying in my bed vining to some Pink Floyd. I wonder if I am an old man. haha. I've always wanted to analyse all of my relationships in my life. I have a hard time seeing things for how they truly are. Am I over analysing and deceiving myself? Or is this situation and my feelings towards it real.
I want to talk a bit about codependence and that whole area. Back when I wan in grade 10 I had a friend who i was codependent on. When I got my many major concussions, and my moods and anxiety started getting all messed up, I became dependant upon her to make me happy. Now let me tell you, this is not ok.
Our friendship ended up falling apart for a time. And without communication to someone so vital on my moods, I was not isolated and not able to put out these feelings. I didn't know how to make myself happy. This was very detrimental to my mental; and eventual physical health.
Now I am overanalysing all of my relationships. This could be good and could be bad. I do not let this happen again, but sometimes I'm uncomfortable deriving happiness from another person.
Anyways how this whole thought came to mind, was that I spent a weekend without seeing any of my friends. I just focused on myself and how to make myself happy. This was very lonely, and also very hard. Heres what I take away from it.. I am able to rely on myself, and I can do this. I suggest everybody have some self reflection time and alone time every once in a while. Not only to learn how to make yourself happy, and to know that you are ok with only your own company, but also to learn what you like. You are constantly changing and growing as a person, so you need to keep yourself updated.
I read something the other day that said, you need to learn to love yourself and spend time with yourself, because in the end you are the only person you can count on. When people are busy and you're not their top priority (which you shouldn't be because you are your own top priority) you will need to be able to keep up with yourself .
Well in the short of things, I helped my mother plant the vegetable garden this weekend. I have found a new hobby of mine, and grown the relationship with my mother. I will continue to garden with her, and absorb as much information about this new hobby of mine from her.
I am current lying laying in my bed vining to some Pink Floyd. I wonder if I am an old man. haha. I've always wanted to analyse all of my relationships in my life. I have a hard time seeing things for how they truly are. Am I over analysing and deceiving myself? Or is this situation and my feelings towards it real.
I want to talk a bit about codependence and that whole area. Back when I wan in grade 10 I had a friend who i was codependent on. When I got my many major concussions, and my moods and anxiety started getting all messed up, I became dependant upon her to make me happy. Now let me tell you, this is not ok.
Our friendship ended up falling apart for a time. And without communication to someone so vital on my moods, I was not isolated and not able to put out these feelings. I didn't know how to make myself happy. This was very detrimental to my mental; and eventual physical health.
Now I am overanalysing all of my relationships. This could be good and could be bad. I do not let this happen again, but sometimes I'm uncomfortable deriving happiness from another person.
Anyways how this whole thought came to mind, was that I spent a weekend without seeing any of my friends. I just focused on myself and how to make myself happy. This was very lonely, and also very hard. Heres what I take away from it.. I am able to rely on myself, and I can do this. I suggest everybody have some self reflection time and alone time every once in a while. Not only to learn how to make yourself happy, and to know that you are ok with only your own company, but also to learn what you like. You are constantly changing and growing as a person, so you need to keep yourself updated.
I read something the other day that said, you need to learn to love yourself and spend time with yourself, because in the end you are the only person you can count on. When people are busy and you're not their top priority (which you shouldn't be because you are your own top priority) you will need to be able to keep up with yourself .
Well in the short of things, I helped my mother plant the vegetable garden this weekend. I have found a new hobby of mine, and grown the relationship with my mother. I will continue to garden with her, and absorb as much information about this new hobby of mine from her.
Friday, May 20
Fortunate Happenstance
I stumbled upon a beautiful sunset the other night. As I was taking this picture I was thinking about how insignificant my problems must be. Sometimes I will be feeling horrific, and yet the sun still sets and rises. Some may look at that as a very depressing thing, but for me its very grounding. Knowing that I shouldn't worry about it. Life goes on. Will I be worrying about what someone said 10 years from now? The answer is god I hope not. However, 10 years from now the sun will sill set.
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